We have had so many firsts in the last couple of weeks. I wish I could say it was the first time he sat up by himself or crawled by himself or any of the milestones that a 'typical' child would have already reached.
I am both proud and ashamed to say this past Sunday, August 31st was the first time Cole has ever been to church. I have many different reasons or excuses, however you want to look at it, for not taking him before now. The biggest reason has been because I knew I would be called back to the nursery to get him because he would not stop crying.
As most mothers know, it is so hard to trust others with your precious baby, and it is even more so with your disabled child. But, because he has done so well, being such a big boy at school, I decided it was time to get back in touch with God.
I am not one to 'preach' (I hope to lead by example) and I have friends from all walks of life. I was always brought up in the church and know the way I should always be....but, I am only human and I have strayed from God several times in my life. I always find that He is always forgiving and takes me back with open arms.
It is so hard to explain the gamut of emotions I have gone through since the day Cole was born. I will admit that I had blamed myself for his disability (I thought it must be because of something I did)...I now know that I am not being punished but I am blessed to have him. Just look at how beautiful he is and I see how many people he has touched. He is such a special baby and he has shown me so much!
So, obviously, I felt like it was time for me to get back where I should be and I knew I needed to get Shane in too. Shane gets to go into an awesome class. He goes through a tube on one side of the door, climb steps, to slide down into the classroom. They have a moon bounce, and a little bank to earn pretend money by memorizing bible verses and other things in the class. They can take their points from the pretend money to the little store to get gifts (like at Chucky-Cheese's). Luckily, Brett has been going, for a long time, to a different church with his great group of friends. I am so thankful for the right kind of peer pressure and they are wonderful kids and have helped so much with transportation for Brett.
In the end, Cole was a good boy for his first day of church! He drank some of his bottle, then got to enjoy a ride in a huge stroller that seats 6 or 8 and then took a 20 minute nap. One of the three teachers was holding him when I came to pick him up.
He is such a beautiful baby. I hope you guys have more good church days with Cole.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! It's always hard to step out of your comfort zone and feel like you're intruding on others' zones :) We've been members of our church since we were married and our kids have grown up there each week. I am so grateful to have that extended family, and blessed with the support and help they have given us over the years. I hope you find the same thing and your church.
ReplyDeleteCole's school sounds AWESOME!! I'm excited to hear more about it this year!
Prayers & Love
Mel, Piper, & family
May these 1sts be the 1sts of many more to come.
ReplyDeletechurch is a difficult place sometimes. so many looks and awe how cute yada yada yada...
ReplyDeleteI had so much anxiety when I would go to church and leave alaina in the 2 year old class, because she would just lay on the floor and the kids would just jump over her...talk about worrying! then someone kindly donated $500 for us to pick out a chair for her to be able to sit up with her classmates...since her wheelchair was too tall to fit under their table! since then I have not had so much anxiety! but I still worry that I am burdening people while they take care of her...i hope that feeling goes away!
While I won't claim to know your struggles in coming to terms with Cole's unique-ness or how hard that is, I applaud you for going forward and bringing your family back into a place that brings you joy and comfort. And fun for the kids, too :) Glad the kids had fun!
ReplyDeleteI am laughing so hard. My husband says we're church drop-outs (which I hate him saying!)! Jack can't go to church without yelling or being inappropriate and causing half the congregation to look, so we just avoid it. Although, rumor has it, there's a Catholic church downtown here that offers a service for Special Needs Families...we might check that out. Give Cole a smooch for us!
ReplyDeleteCole is beautiful and strong boy. He will be doing good. All the best to Cole.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, much appreciate the time you took to write this.
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